T’was the Night before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas and all around the world

There was clicking of mouse and websites whirled

I dreamt about travelling and adventures to be had

And all along professing to Santa that I had been good and not bad!

The stockings were hung carefully by the Christmas tree

In hopes that everyone soon would be Covid free

As we all nestled snug in our beds

Visions of Pyramids and sunny destinations danced in our heads

But Santa himself was a bit of a wreck

Battling to survive in world so politically correct

His workers had stopped packing the shelves

Wanting to be called “Vertically Challenged” and no longer “Elves”.

The equal opportunities team had also made it quite clear

That Santa had better not use JUST reindeer

And on top of that the worst of woes

As Rudolph was suing for the unauthorised use of his nose!

Meet Bob, Rudolph’s replacement, representing SnowPeople everywhere

They were still dealing with the trespassing fines from last year

And to cover the data protection issues had hired a data engineer

This was in the hope that people would stop calling the cops

When they heard the sleigh noises on their rooftops

So, he thought for a moment as he squeezed into his red suit

Now was the time to become digitally and high tech astute!

“So, onward Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid

I am replacing you with drones so I don’t look stupid!”

Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid thought this was great,

No longer having to pull a sleigh for someone who was grossly overweight.

(I believe they are currently in Bora Bora)

Toy purchases from the ‘Net helped with supply

And soon Santa and his new crew were ready to fly through the sky.

But something special was needed, a gift of some sort

He thought for a moment and gave a retort

“Of course!” He bellowed. A gift of relevance to provide good cheer

To everyone, everywhere…including a certain red-nosed reindeer

It is immeasurable in its value and fathomless in its worth:

“May you and your loved ones stay healthy and enjoy peace on this good Earth.”

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!

Opinions expressed are our own.

All images used are sourced from Unsplash and the writing is original (first publishe in 2021), so please don’t copy these without permission!

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